Motherhood: Don't Overthink It.

 

 

Today I want to introduce to you our first guest blogger!  She is a sweet friend of mine who loves the Lord and tries to serve Him with her life.  I asked her to write a post of encouragement to Christian moms, and BE READY...she is quite the encourager!  So if you feel overworked and/or unworthy as your calling as a mom, this post is for you!  I hope you'll hop on over at her website by clicking here.


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Hi, my name is Bethany. I am 24, married to a wonderful man named Eric and we are missionaries to Haiti. And, can I tell you a secret? I am not a mother.

That’s right, it’s a girl with no children writing to mothers on a mothering blog.

Whew, glad that is out in the open!

With us both understanding that my experience with motherhood being very much on the outside looking in.. Can I share a thought on motherhood with you today? Can I speak for non-mothers everywhere? For all of the rest of us out in this big world who haven’t carried an actual human inside their body? (Which, if you think about it, might be the most amazing thing ever.)

First of all, three things…

You are amazing.

Stop being so hard on yourself.

Stop overthinking it.

I am convinced that America is a tough place to rear a child. Far more difficult than people might think. Maybe not tough in a physical way, but in a spiritual way. Our country is rich in blessings, and we should be grateful for those, but it is also filled with overwhelming expectations for women and mothers alike.

The pressures of the American lifestyle, different cultural expectations, mainstream social media and who’s who of Pinterest crafts are heavy upon my heart... and I’m not even a mom. The decisions you are forced to make each day flood my Facebook feed. Opinions from newspapers and articles, the CDC and FDA, writers and bloggers about various issues. Issues that you, as a mom, must have a stance.

To illustrate, here’s a sampling from my current Facebook feed….

Vaccinations - Yes or no?

Schooling - Homeschooling, private schooling, public schooling?

Teen dress code - Can your young one wear leggings?

Media limitations - Too much TV for your kid? Do they play on an iPad?

Baby body wraps - Are you ruining your child's hip placement?

Baby food -  Best brands? Allergies? Organic?

Oh, goodness.. the list seems to go on forever. I can only imagine it has to get heavy for you some days, right? The societal pressures to measure up to? All the issues to have an opinion on?

My friend Rachel at findingjoy.net writes to mothers everyday. If you are a mother, her blog is a must follow.  I love her platform of “being real in motherhood.” And with Christmas here and gone, culminating in the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year, I think of all of you moms out there. Rachel wrote a recent letter to moms everywhere about the Christmas season:

“A dear friend told me yesterday “don’t dwell on all the big things just choose one thing to do and find joy in that.” So, yesterday I took my boys out for a bit – just because – and that was a moment that mattered. We talked about presents, family, and how much I loved them in all things. We didn’t do anything crazy. In fact, I spent $9 at Starbucks, wandered the toy aisles, and their highlight was the whole clementine orange sample at Target.  It was time given. Not stuff, not presents, not perfect trees, not twinkling lights, not gluten free cookies with royal icing, not any of that – it was me and them doing life together.  You know what? While we drove home through the snow they told me they had a great day. And my Elijah throughout the day kept saying best mom ever even though earlier in the day I was feeling like the worst. He didn’t see the undone stuff, the imperfect stuff, the stuff I wish was different. He saw his mom.”

The rest of us non-moms can see you without the blinders of this pressure filled and opinionated society. So can your kids.

We see you, tired and needing to sleep for an hour, but instead taking time to clean the dishes. We see you washing perfectly clean clothes for the third time because your children keep putting them back in the hamper. We see you teaching your child every moment of the day, repeating one word over and over, sounding like a crazy woman, and finally rejoicing when it’s finally repeated back to you. Your children see you hold open doors, say please and thank you, and put their blocks away at the end of the day. Your husband sees you clean and clean and wonder if there are sock-stealing elves that live in your dryer.

We see you giving your all. We see you loving beyond the barriers of your heart, and you are amazing.

One of the multitude of lessons that Haiti teaches is the beauty found in the small things. Beautiful is the mother who kisses her child’s forehead and prays for their future. Beautiful is the mom who disciplines, even when it has to be in public. Beautiful and precious is the mother whose heart is big enough to serve every day.

In America it’s easy to get caught up in the opinions and blog posts. It’s easy to be distracted from what really matters. With that in mind, here’s my final thought:

Don’t over think this whole motherhood thing.

Sure, think and pray and research and have opinions and platforms and passions and fight for your children and spouse and family and friends. But don’t over think whether you are good enough.

Don’t be distracted from the simple moments. Don’t over think those little moments. The moments that count. The moments that aren’t 27 presents on Christmas morning or the biggest dress in homecoming court.

The moments that are real. Moments that are burning eggs on a Sunday morning and, with a laugh, grabbing a sugar-filled pop-tart instead. Moments that are holding hands across the street and praying before bed. Moments of giving medicine for a cold and crawling in bed at night. Moments of soothing nightmares and peaceful walks at the park.

Those are the moments you’ll remember. Those are the moments when you find yourself resting in your calling as a mother. Those are the moments when we non-moms see you. Those are the moments your kids will hold dearly in their hearts as they grow older.

So today, as you begin the journey that awaits in 2014, remember these words:

You are amazing.

You are real.

Real isn’t perfect.  

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

We see you.

You are beautiful.

Don’t overthink it.

Just be real, have real moments.

Give love, be light.

Be you.

And everything else will work out just fine.

 

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I hope you'll check out Bethany's website here.  You can help support Bethany most importantly with your prayers!  Head on over to her website and let her know you are praying for her!  If you would like to support her financially, you may do so on her website or you can purchase products to support her and their mission in Haiti by clicking here.  If you think you might be interested in going to Haiti or helping out with her mission, what are you waiting for?!  Find out more information about mission trips here!  You can also get information about adoption in Haiti by clicking here.  I hope that you'll help her efforts in Haiti! 
 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Bethany is a wife, missionary, writer and book collector. Living and working alongside her husband as missionaries between two separate worlds – small town America and the Caribbean nation of Haiti, she works hard to daily bridge the culture gap between the two. When not in Haiti, she enjoys drinking iced chai and relaxing with a good book. But her heart is most content when she is in Haiti, working to build relationships with children in orphanages and people in communities around the country.

http://ericandbeth.us/